The #bloodlettings have been getting a lot of attention. Mysterious figures in the night, strange men seen lurking about the town – young women, girls I knew, gone missing. It’s about time someone put all the pieces together and I think I have the answer.
Lampreys.
Think about it; small puncture marks, missing a large portion of blood – it all makes sense. Not only that but no one would think of lamprey’s in England: it’s the perfect cover. Well, my theory is looking more valid by the second.
I went to the last crime scene after school and at 16:22 (or 25, my handwriting’s not great) I spotted two suits. I don’t mean like Mr. Fletcher at school suit, I mean full-on, glasses, spindly phone thing in ear, PM bodyguard sort of stuff. They were at the crime scene – they were even bossing around Detective Harland. I can tell you this for a fact, only one group has that kind of authority, that kind of power: The British Drainage Commission.
Everyone knows the drainage commission has ties to UFO sightings and replacing officials with lizards – if you need proof, check out XxXTrooth1948’s blog on lizards in the Royal Family*. Who other than the drainage commission could sneak fish and lizards into a small town for some kind of government experiment.
*XxXTrooth1948 has been recently shut down (01.09.2019). They know that we know!
